i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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