I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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