He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
