just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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