Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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