Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Shame - the story of my life.
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