why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
