But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
