i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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