duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
