Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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