So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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