she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
