White coat. Heels.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
