i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
