Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Houston, we have a blender
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
