with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
