I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
