But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we're making bets on your personal life
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
