i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
40s are totally the cure
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
