can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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