Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
