My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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