More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
