i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
