If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
