U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
