Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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