who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
