it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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