so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
