i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
