The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
