So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
