I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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