Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
