I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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