Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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