I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just googled if crying burns calories
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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