Ambien. No doubt about it.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
