i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
