I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
