does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
