So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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