what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
