Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
