she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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