we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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