I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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