No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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