she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
