Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
